The last few days

It has been an interesting couple of days. Noah is home from school with pneumonia again. I decided to just go ahead and pull him out for the week and school him at home. Yesterday was the first day of “mommy school” as he says. This just confirms what I have been saying for years…….I am not a teacher. I really can’t focus on things long enough to teach someone something. Plus just because I understand it doesn’t mean by any stretch of the imagination that I can make it make sense to my six year old. Thank God Ms. Mathis sent home work sheets. We are on day two and needless to say Noah is sick of worksheets. Joseph is having a ball though; he is getting to go to school with brother. Hell that kid wouldn’t care if he was crawling through cow poo as long as it was behind Noah. Wow to be idolized like that…….I hope Noah can live up to it all. Noah has also had his fill of meds and breathing treatments. He can now hook himself up and knows when he is done, knows what time for meds, and what to take. Not that I let him do it all on his own, we have just been doing it for so long now that he knows all about it. Bless his heart, I do really feel for him. I mean look at this mess, this is everyday……we have been at this for over a month now. Hopefully it will be done soon. I am so ready for warmer weather. Hopefully with the warm weather and sunshine will come sick free days and cough less nights. We shall see.

So Valentine’s Day came and went. We have never really celebrated the day. We have never made it a point to go out to dinner just the two of us, or buy presents just because of the day. Around here the kids get candy and maybe a card and I usually buy Adam a card. But I decided a couple of years ago that I could buy Adam one card and if I didn’t put any dates on it I could just reuse it every year after, so I just quit worrying about it. Adam however has shocked me twice lately. Our ten year wedding anniversary passed in November and we had agreed that we would do something special when we had the money. So I didn’t really worry over it until he came home that night with the most beautiful card and a three page letter he had written himself. After crying like a fool and telling him how much I loved him, I felt like poo because I didn’t do anything for him. Well when Valentine’s Day rolled around the same rules applied nothing for each other. I had planned on ignoring that rule, but hadn’t been to town. He however had stopped in town and brought the boys some candy, a small toy and me…..well….look and the card was wonderful as was the new pillows he bought for the couch. I know it seems corny, but I love it and him. He is the best, if you don’t believe me ask his kids!

Death and Taxes

I know y’all have heard the phrase “There are two certainties in life, Death and Taxes”.I am also sure that I am no different when I say, I despise giving my money (or Adam’s money rather) I mean, come on, I eat bon-bon’s all day and watch soaps) to the government. It literally makes me sick that every dime we have has been taxed so many times that I still have to do it once more for good measure. I understand that there is a national debt, not my fault. I understand that there are third world countries that we gave money and aid to, not my decision. I even get the fact that we needed new tanks, boats, planes, and the such to fight a war, again not my decision. I doubt taxing every single dime that comes into this house several different times is really helping pay for all that debt. What do you think would happen if some of the congress men took a pay cut? Its like the CEO of Adam’s company last year got a 4.6 million dollar Christmas bonus. Why? That is ridiculous. Adam didn’t get any type of Christmas bonus. Imagine how far that 4.6 million would go, how many families that kind of money would help? Sorry, got off my point to this post. It just burns me up……..like you couldn’t tell.

Anyway, we sat down last night to do our wonderful taxes. I will have to admit that Adam and I both were dreading this. We had played around A LOT last year with his with holdings and now we were going to have to see what the damage was. We were both counting on owing several thousand dollars. Just the thought of that alone is enough to make you sick to your stomach. We both knew we couldn’t put it off and were praying that the IRS allowed payment plans.

I am going to tell you all one thing right now……….GOD is good, he is an amazing GOD, an all powerful, all knowing GOD. We are actually getting a little money back. We are not going to have to give one red penny back. I know that they will find another way to take it, but right now it is one small victory for mankind. Hope everyone’s taxes comes out well and maybe you all get enough back to do something out of the normal, something exciting!!!


And no this is not the funny story regarding tonight, that will have to wait until the morning.

A funny

So I had to go pick up Noah from school early today. Why, you ask? Because for the past three days he has had a cough that will eventually make him toss his cookies. Needless to say it was bound to happen at school and the minuet he walked out of the bathroom they pounced on him like a Lion on a lamb and called me. His teacher, Ginger is a wonderful woman who I think the world of. We instantly hit it off and have become very fast friends. So it is her voice on the other end of the phone I hear with Noah standing right at her side. Now, most kids would lie and say what ever they have too to get out of school. I mean he’s pretty much already got a free pass with the throwing up thing, why not just seal the deal and play out the sympathy card? Oh no, not Noah. God love his heart.

Teacher: “Noah, does your stomach hurt?”
Noah: “Nope”

Teacher: “Do you feel like your going to be sick again?”
Noah: “Nope, I’m good”

Teacher: “Well then, how do you feel?”
Noah: “Pretty good and you?”

She and I both had to share a laugh, I mean I could hear his response to every question and when that came out you had to laugh. That’s just the kind of kid he is. The dr said that he needs breathing treatments for a while, see if that helps. Hopefully it will clear this situation up.

Just thought I would share out funny og the day! Hope everyone has a great night!!

A bowl full of cherries

Have you ever heard the statement, “Life is like a bowl full of cherries”? Yeah well, I have decided that mine is like a bowl full of grapes. They come in a large bunch (This is just our life as a whole) some have seeds (I consider the seeds the really big issues we have in life). Some are squishy (these are the situations you just don’t know how to handle). Some are too small (small problems that arise and easily fixed). A few are way to big, you are sure they are on the verge of rotten (Of course big, huge problems that we can’t even begin to know what to do with and honestly are tired of fooling with). Then lastly there is that one grape that is perfect, it has the perfect shape, color, size, and no seeds. You can tell by looking at it that it will be just wonderful (this is how each day ends, a roof over our heads, food on our table, bedtime stories read, kids tucked in their beds, and spooning till sleep over takes). It aint so bad really to be a grape!

OK, silly I know, but I took this damn picture of these grapes and I really liked it. Looking at them got me to thinking (which is never a good thing) and this is what I came up with. Y’all have to cut me a little bit of slack though, my plate has been really full lately and I am running on about 4 hours sleep in the last three days. So, yeah things right now from me are going to be goofy.

Constance, so glad you made the jump into the wonderful world of blogging. Your poetry is wonderful and I will be looking forward to more…….get cracking!!

Mandi, the pictures are wonderful and you look fabulous, hot momma!!! I except to see some in frames next time I am there.

April, if it makes you feel better to know………you are not alone and I understand your issues. I am here in what ever capacity you may need me.

Mommy, I love you more than you know and I didn’t know you ever took your “super mom” cape off 8-)

Walking on broken glass

Does any one even understand the concept? There are so many ways to take this one statement. I have always viewed it as a solid sheet of glass and then something comes along to shatter the surface and there you are stuck in the middle trying to find your way out. You know that it will be painful, there will be tears, and there will be moments of complete fear, that turn into determination. When and if you make it out of the middle of the broken glass you can look back and see what you just did, you see the pain you went through, you will still be swapped with small amounts of fear, you will realize the strength that brought you through, and lastly you can see so plainly the scars that you will carry the rest of your life. You will always remember, no matter how hard to be forgotten, you will always remember walking on broken glass.

Life is essentiality your sheet of glass. Everyone at some time or another has walked it, felt it shatter, and most have made it through. I do not know if I am strong enough to make it through anymore glass. I doubt that I can take one more crack before it shatters under my feet. What scares me the most is being in the middle and not knowing if I can make the walk one more time. It’s not the pain, or the fear of it, or even the scars, it’s just the knowledge that even if I clear these pieces there will soon be another mess to follow. Because you see I have made the walk several times now and each time has been a little harder, attached with a little more pain, fear, and scars. Every time I seem to have gained ground and healed somewhat I find myself right back in the middle of the glass with cracks spiking every different direction and I stand there breathless for the crack that will shatter it. I am very envious or jealous which ever word you like of other people. They all seem to have what they want and take for granted the health of their loved ones. It is so easy to take for granted such a simple thing as health. My envy doesn’t care about the material things they have it come from the family stand point. If only my worries were so simple, so mundane. Those people can jump, run, even skate on their glass and yes it may crack here and there but it usually never shatters. I can watch those people and think if only you knew if but for one day you stood on my glass, you would not be so careless with the one who is your other half. You would not so much as take a breath to deep because your glass is so fragile and you will do anything to keep the hard surface under you. You would take each and everyday and give it to your other half, just to make them happy, healthy, and take their own fears away. You would carry them across the glass if it made it easier for them. I wish I knew the feeling of that, the care freeness of walking and running on my glass. Maybe some day I will, maybe someday I will not worry about every crack that appears. Right now all I can do is hold my breath and stand still, because if my glass doesn’t shatter then I do not have to question if I can make the walk one more time.

Baseball tryouts!

Today is the day….yeah…..no not really. Honestly I am being sarcastic. I was really counting on Noah saying he didn’t want to play this year. I DESPISE baseball season. By the time the end of the season comes Noah is so done, I am so done. We spend the whole season running behind. We rush home to do homework, then off to practice that doesn’t end until like 7 pm, rush home for some type of food, baths and bed. Everything is just so hectic. Yes I am admitting that I am lazy and have become a shut-in. However Adam is not coaching this year, because they are starting up the 2^nd shift stuff again in April (whole different rant, for a later day) which means no TEAM MOM for me, now when I shout YEAH…..I am so serious. You wouldn’t think being team mom would be a big deal, but dealing with hateful or snotty parents is not real high on my list of things I like. So, one up side of this year is that I can bring my snack when told to, show up for practice and games and be done.

Joseph wants to play so bad he can’t stand it. Course he has always been this way, even when Noah started at 4 and Joseph was just stumbling around he wanted on the field so bad. Keeping him contained during practices is quit difficult because he just wants to be out there. Next year will be his turn. Knowing him though when his time actually comes he probably won’t want to do it.

I should probably get off of here and go clean something or I could go finish scoping out my bestie’s newest photo shoot…..she is amazing and I am so proud of her ;)

A view of differnce

Why is it that people that have never touched a camera believe that the minuet they see what you have taken they must over load you with their opinions on the matter. The last session I did was of a very good friend from high school. She makes such a great model, she is willing to do anything and just goes with the flow, it doesn’t hurt that she is beautiful. We had the best time last weekend and to be perfectly honest I love the pictures we got. I think that all of them turned out great. I used some different coloring, lighting, and stuff. Won’t bore y’all with photographer speak. Any who, I am just really happy with all of the effects I got, and yes some of them look a little different, a little unique, which in my opinion is a good thing. Apparently to others though it is just weird and you can not possible show the pictures to any one because they might think you have no idea what you’re doing. I hear this and look around and think “really…..you honestly believe I care what you think about what I do” I guess it is totally possible that I am just being touchy; I mean my mood lately has not been on the brightest side of things. Maybe I just read more into someone’s criticism. Here’s a secret though, I do not like criticism, constructive or not. Why is it so hard for people to think out side of the box? To maybe look at something and realize that although it is different it is still uniquely great.
I despise Cedartown; there is not enough room in this one horse town to spread my wings. The people here don’t even know what box I’m talking about much less thinking outside of it, most have no clue what art even consist of. If it isn’t a bunch of color selective stuff with names and dates stamped all over it, or some fake fences, timed poses, or practiced smiles then it can’t possibly be worth using. I guess I need to come to the realization that I cannot compete with free nor am I going to be able to convince people that there are other type’s photography and that it is a form of art. Nevertheless, I am going to keep right on doing what I do, because it is what I love and stop worrying over the art critics of Cedartown.

Texture by Louise @ http://www.flickr.com/photos/buzzby09/3257124863/in/pool-textures4layers

Feb. 4, 2009

Yesterday was just like any other day that you have a sick kid home from school. Joseph was so happy that Noah was home from school, he thought that meant they would play together all day. Needless to say by about

2 o’clock he was not so happy about Noah being home anymore. Noah on a good day is bossy, selfish, and did I mention bossy. When Noah is sick you need to multiply the effect. I did feel sorry for him though, he felt like poo and Joseph was being very persistent about playing. Noah is so much like his dad when he is sick. He will let out spontaneous moans, just so you know he is still not feeling good and you should feel as sorry for him as possible. Adam is the same way, not quit as obvious as Noah but a moaner just the same.

Going with little to no sleep finally caught up with me and I passed out on the bed after a cigarette break about 8. Adam took pity on me and made me go to bed. He got the boys ready and put them to bed and apparently fell asleep on the couch. I woke up around 1:30 with a killer back ache, so I decided to stay up for a while and let my meds kick in. At 3:30 Noah woke up yelling. His fever was 103 and he was complaining of a sore throat. Here I was thinking he was getting better, even told his teacher in an e-mail that he would be back at school today. So, lesson learned, don’t count your chickens before they hatch.

Moving on because I know y’all are sick of hearing about us being sick. Joseph takes his self to the potty these days, unless he has to go #2, then of course mom has to come so she can hear it, see it, and clean him up when he is done. So when he yelled out that he had to go pee-pee I didn’t really think much about it until I realized that he had been gone for quit a while and all was eerily quite. I walk in to find him standing not in front of the toilet but in front of the bath tub. He looks at me guiltily and says I was pee-peeing too which I reply “you do not pee in the bath tub, that is for getting clean and you know this”. So now I can say at lest their bathroom is bleached and clean. Oh, another Joseph funny that I feel the need to share. Every morning before he gets up for the day, he calls me in there so we can “uggle” (snuggle). During out time yesterday he looks over at me with the most serious face and says “my weenie is big” and then proceeds to pull is pants down for a quick peep show while says “see momma, my weenie is big” Not only was I a little shocked but it was funny I just had to say “ok, but we don’t show people our weenie, ok?” “Momma you not people, you momma” as he continues to show off his private. Just goes to show that men start at an early age loving their privates.

Speaking of privates, I have to tell someone this, because it is just too funny and just enough on the sick side not to share. Everyone now knows that my MIL was married to an idiot. It was not after their divorce that we discovered this fact, most of the family knew from the first time we meet him. Anyway, in one of their recent arguments he informed her that he is no longer taking his meds (crazy people should NOT stop taking their meds) My MIL asked why he decided he no longer needed his medicine. His answer……… “One day you are going to want to have sex with me again and the medicine gives me a limp dick” First off eww-gross, secondly, ha-ha-ha- he actually said that to her in an effort to win her over (oh, baby-baby) gag, gag, gag!

Don’t y’all just love my stick figure person!!!You know what is sad, I spent like two hours making that stupid thing and was tickled pink with it when I was done. My life is so boring.

See this is how bad I am at keeping up with a blog everyday. Its not that I don’t have emotions, thoughts, or things that go on through out the day, its just finding the time to write them down. I find that I can hardly ever make it through a full sentence before someone is yelling or wanting something from me. I know that I should probably do this after the monkeys have made their way to bed, but that’s my catching up others blogs, comments, loading pictures, that sort of stuff. Oh well, maybe I will get better, probably not, but maybe.

On another note, we are sick A.G.A.I.N.!!! Let me just tell you that I absolutely hate the cold months. I swear we have been sick for the past three moths and the end is not even in sight yet. It always starts with Noah, then of course Joseph, and from there it’s kind of a toss up between me and Adam. This time however I have caught it right in the middle of the boys trading places. I have lost my voice, coughing up a lung (I smoke I do not have much lung to spare) and a slight fever. Yeah me. The boys are loving me not having a voice though; this is the first day that they haven’t been yelled not once. Not that they haven’t needed it, but I couldn’t make the sound come and just let me tell you that writing things down and having your 6 year old read them does not put the same fear of God in them as my voice does. On the flip side of this, Joseph is my music baby (Noah is my reader/books baby) Joseph and I sing a lot through out our day, we dance along to music, and about 4:15 everyday he climbs up in my lap and says “sing me”. Well for the past two days I can’t do that. Neither of us is happy about that fact, that is our thing and right now it is missing. It is so easy to take stuff for granted.