Walking on broken glass

Does any one even understand the concept? There are so many ways to take this one statement. I have always viewed it as a solid sheet of glass and then something comes along to shatter the surface and there you are stuck in the middle trying to find your way out. You know that it will be painful, there will be tears, and there will be moments of complete fear, that turn into determination. When and if you make it out of the middle of the broken glass you can look back and see what you just did, you see the pain you went through, you will still be swapped with small amounts of fear, you will realize the strength that brought you through, and lastly you can see so plainly the scars that you will carry the rest of your life. You will always remember, no matter how hard to be forgotten, you will always remember walking on broken glass.

Life is essentiality your sheet of glass. Everyone at some time or another has walked it, felt it shatter, and most have made it through. I do not know if I am strong enough to make it through anymore glass. I doubt that I can take one more crack before it shatters under my feet. What scares me the most is being in the middle and not knowing if I can make the walk one more time. It’s not the pain, or the fear of it, or even the scars, it’s just the knowledge that even if I clear these pieces there will soon be another mess to follow. Because you see I have made the walk several times now and each time has been a little harder, attached with a little more pain, fear, and scars. Every time I seem to have gained ground and healed somewhat I find myself right back in the middle of the glass with cracks spiking every different direction and I stand there breathless for the crack that will shatter it. I am very envious or jealous which ever word you like of other people. They all seem to have what they want and take for granted the health of their loved ones. It is so easy to take for granted such a simple thing as health. My envy doesn’t care about the material things they have it come from the family stand point. If only my worries were so simple, so mundane. Those people can jump, run, even skate on their glass and yes it may crack here and there but it usually never shatters. I can watch those people and think if only you knew if but for one day you stood on my glass, you would not be so careless with the one who is your other half. You would not so much as take a breath to deep because your glass is so fragile and you will do anything to keep the hard surface under you. You would take each and everyday and give it to your other half, just to make them happy, healthy, and take their own fears away. You would carry them across the glass if it made it easier for them. I wish I knew the feeling of that, the care freeness of walking and running on my glass. Maybe some day I will, maybe someday I will not worry about every crack that appears. Right now all I can do is hold my breath and stand still, because if my glass doesn’t shatter then I do not have to question if I can make the walk one more time.